Christmas 2010

I wasn't sure how I was going to feel this Christmas. Several months ago when I thought about Christmas, I thought about how I was going to be at the end of my pregnancy and that this Christmas would bring with it great anticipation for our new arrival. Now that it is here, it is a reminder of how quickly life can change. I can honestly say that I enjoyed Christmas very much. God has a way of blessing us, even in the midst of pain. I missed Madelyn greatly, but God did answer my prayers and I was able to thoroughly enjoy Christmas with my family. Josh and Emma were such a blessing to us and brought such joy to the holiday. The past few months God has continually poured out His love for me and this Christmas was no different. I went to bed on that night thanking God, more than once, for the wonderful family He has given to me. Only God can take a day that could have been such a horrible reminder of the pain that this world brings and turn it into something so joyous:)

I think this is the only picture of Emma and Josh that I got where they were both smiling:) We let them each open a gift on Christmas Eve. We placed their gifts in Madelyn's stocking and bought them both something that we could enjoy as a family. Josh got a wii Party game. Emma got a pink wii controller. And, yes, getting Emma her own personal wii controller is something our entire family is thankful for:)

Madelyn's Ornament

Josh's Ornament

Tobias' Ornament

Shannen's Ornament

Emma's Ornament

This is our Advent calendar. Mark and I bought it our first Christmas together. We have used this calendar every year for the past seven years. We have had so much fun coming up with things to put in the calendar. This year Josh has really been interested in Legos and he LOVES getting Lego mini figures. We filled the calendar with one Lego mini figure a day. Emma got candy. She would have much rather had sweets each day than a small toy:)

Emma opening up her dollhouse.

Josh is quite excited that he gets to take a trip to the Lego store and get a box of bricks. What a goofball:)

Emma and Josh among the mass of torn wrapping paper.

In Awe of a Savior

The past few months have been the most difficult months that I have ever faced. But through it all, I have been comforted by my Heavenly Father in ways I never had before. As I look toward the Christmas holiday, I am constantly reminded of the significance of our Savior's birth and that He was born so that we may live. I know that He knows my pain. He has provided me with comfort beyond my understanding. I have experienced so much pain and, yes, even joy over these past few months.  I am in awe of His love and compassion towards me. And while I miss my daughter tremendously, I can't help but be reminded that she is with Him right now. She will be spending this Christmas with the One whom we honor during this holiday. She is standing in the presence of her Savior and she is experiencing pure JOY. While I would like nothing more for her to be here with me, I know that there is no better place than where she is now. One day, I will be there too, celebrating along with herJ  Thank you Father, for the promises given to us and the hope that we will one day see, again, those we love so dearly.

Missing you much Madelyn

Hanging of the Greens

Our Little Mary

Today our church hosted "Hanging of the Greens." Decorations were made and hung throughout the church and the kids could participate in a variety of activities. One of the activities was a dress up station where kids could dress up like Biblical Characters and have their picture taken. Josh and Emma dressed up as Joseph and Mary. Emma took her role as Mary quite seriously. She cuddled baby Jesus and posed while people watched. She enjoyed the part so much, she dressed up twice:) Josh spent most of his time stringing popcorn garland and making ornaments. We all had a great time. It is such a blessing to be a part of a local church and spend time with people you love and respect. We truly live a blessed life.

Thankfulness

As I reflect on this year I am constantly reminded of the blessings that God has given me. When I think of the things for which I am thankful, every single one of those things has been given to me by God. This year has been a year of testing and trials, but through it all my Father has been there every moment. Some of the things I am thankful for...

• My Savior and the gift of eternal life.
• An amazing family. I have a wonderful husband who loves me unconditionally and I have been blessed with some pretty great kids:)
• Madeylyn. I am thankful that God did not allow Madelyn to be taken from us early in the pregnancy. We almost lost her, but he spared her life...for a while. Because of that, we had the privilege of meeting her before we had to say goodbye. I can't even put into words how much meeting her meant to us and how it changed our lives.
• My church family. They really are like my own family and I can't imagine having to go through what he have this year without them.

An Incredible Blessing

Two months ago today, my husband and I welcomed a beautiful little girl into our loving arms. Saying goodbye to her was the most difficult thing we have ever done, but meeting her was one of our greatest blessings. I struggle putting into words how difficult, yet joyous, these past two months have been. We have seen our Heavenly Father work in ways that we never have before. His comfort, provision and grace have been displayed in marvelous ways. I consider it such a privilege and honor to be Madelyn's mother. She has blessed our lives in so many ways. Madelyn's life here on Earth may have been short, but her impact has been great.

Missing you much Madelyn.

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